How mature are we??

Sunshine was given this really cool caterpillar toy, Alphabet Pal, for her B-day. Godparents A & C gave it to her. Alphie has 26 legs...one for each letter of the alphabet. If you turn to music, it will play a song that begins with each letter. Very cool.

Well, the Duke and I were playing with the toy the other day and found that it also does phonics. You press "o" and it says "oooo". So we started trying to say words. Pressing c-a-t would make it phonetically sound out the word cat, and even sounded a lot like it. You can probably see where this is going. Well, it won't do it! Alphie won't say bad words. We tried several times thinking we were pressing the letters too quickly. The toy has a safety device to ensure children don't accidentally learn to cuss. If you try to type in a certain four letter word it says "he he he, that tickles".

You know you would have tried it too, so stop judging.

Ugly day

I see that I have not posted in awhile. I just really haven't felt like doing anything. Many days I sit in the rocking chair in my pjs and play with my children. I haven't wanted to talk to anyone, see anyone or go anywhere. My attitude and issue isn't really with anyone in particular, but aimed at the world in general. I'm angry at the world. I see people with family they don't even talk to. Siblings who argue (as adults) over which child a parent loved more. My parents talk to their family a few times a year, on birthdays or anniversary's....you know, the important stuff.
I hear all this crap from people who are so lucky. So lucky to have family. I would give anything in the world to pick up the phone and call my brother right now. To show him pictures of my new babies and show him how much his Godson has grown up.

Four years ago today, my baby brother passed away after a short battle with aplastic anemia. He actually died from a complication known as ARDS. It all happened so fast. One day he had strange bruising. The next day they found aplastic anemia. An aggressive treatment rendered his immune system incompetent and he acquired an infection. It was a bacteria we all have in our mouths. It normally causes no harm, but in his case it lead to pneumonia and a systemic infection. They tried to put him on a vent, but he fought to breathe on his own and he ended up with a pneumothorax. Induced into a medical coma, he was on a vent for two weeks. We had ups, and downs. I held his hand and told him about my life and the trivial things of the day thinking when he was better he would come out and we could laugh together about them.
But he never breathed on his own again.

I was at my parent's house when the call came. It was a Saturday. They needed to speak ASAP with his next of kin. My mom had run to Starbucks to get me and a friend some coffee. Something had happened that morning and he started bleeding uncontrollably. His oxygen sats were in the 50s for too long...way too low. They wanted permission to not intervene and let him go. I asked my mom to keep him on the vent until I got there to say goodbye, but it was too late. He went to meet Jesus while I was traveling down the freeway to the hospital. He was with my mom, and his wife. She laid her head on his chest and heard his heart beat slower and slower and finally not beat again. He was gone. He left behind two beautiful children, my Godchildren.

In the following weeks, many people called and asked me how my parents were, or how his wife and kids were. Clearly they had the biggest loss right? Did they ask me how I was? Possibly if I looked sad that particular day. One friend, Elastigirl, did tell me she knew what I was going through since she had lost her brother and offered a sincere hug. I have never forgotten that moment. I was numb for months and, in looking for comfort, found a website for the support of people who have lost siblings, recognizing that their grief often goes unoticed. The website said this:

"When you lose a parent, you lose your past.
When you lose a child, you lose your future.
When you lose a sibling, you lose your past, present and future for they are the only family members that we will know from early childhood until our last years. "

I'm so jealous of the Duke and his two siblings. They call each other from time to time, send pictures of their kids, and visit on holidays. Heck, I'll be honest. I'm jealous of anyone who has a brother or sister. Why did I lose my only brother? Some people don't even talk to their brothers. What is their problem?

Yep. Today is ugly. I don't want to remember, and yet how can I not?

Hormones, shoes and the evil hearth

That's it! I have officially lost my mind. I just did diaper duty on the girls and managed to put Sunshine's diaper on Tinkerbell and tried to put TB's on SS, but it didn't work. She's too big. I thought TB's diaper seemed a little large. What was I thinking? The diapers aren't even the same brand.

My hormones must be going crazy, or I am headed down the path of menopause. Night sweats, day sweats, and afternoon sweats. I sweat. We keep the house at a balmy 75 degrees and yet I can't cool off. The hormones have also caused serious emotional upheaval in the house of five. I cry at the drop of a hat these days, fall asleep sitting up, and throw things. I actually fled the aerobics room yesterday in tears after seeing my thighs getting jiggly with it during step class. I sat on a weight bench just bawling. What gives?

I realize I haven't posted in a week but I have an excuse. After the week we have had, I could totally give Mrs. Swizzle a run for her money in the "Mother of Year" race. Sleepless nights have left me exhausted. Add that to the hormones and it can get a little crazy.
Monday I fell asleep in the rocking chair with Tinkerbell. Not usually a problem unless you are watching another baby who is mobile and crawls under the rocking chair only to stand up and cut her head under the foot rest. She didn't even really cry, but she woke me up from a happy place.
Tuesday morning, Drama couldn't find his shoes.....AGAIN!!!! When he gets home from school he flings off his backpack and shoes which makes for a harried morning looking for things. I completely lost my cool. We were running late, I was tired and he was whining and dragging throughout his room and finally came out wearing his soccer cleats...the only shows he could find. I started throwing shoes. Not at him, but still I was throwing shoes, screaming that I am so sick and tired of people throwing things all over the house and then asking me to find them in their moment of need. Wow. Flipped out much?
Wednesday night we took a trip to Super Nana's house since the Duke was teaching until 9:30 and I just needed some help juggling the little creatures. It was bliss for about 10 minutes. I actually got to read great American Lit....the October issue of Fitness Mag. My sweet Sunshine started running (yes running, not walking quickly) into the room to see me and tripped over her own feet catapulting her forehead into the large brick hearth. I tried to get up in time to catch her, but I wasn't fast enough. Thump.....pause....pause.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail! I started yelling for Nana to get some ice, stat! She wasn't coming fast enough, the cut started to swell. It was swelling faster than I had ever seen anything swell. It started turning different colors: white, blue, green, then purple. Poor thing. I started crying with her. She refused ice so we rocked for awhile. She finally settled and while I was still crying she started smiling at me and patting my face. It was so sweet. I felt so awful that my angel face was so beat up. Mom told me that God made babies pretty robust so they could walk away from something like that. We watched her for an hour and she seemed normal. I checked in on her all night. She's fine, but her poor poor face is not. The goose egg has a two inch gash in it and is a beautiful shade of blue today. So much for winning that portrait contest!

Texas tornadoes stike again

Last week when the Duke was out of town, I spent a large portion of my free (and not-so-free) time cleaning. Tinkerbell has been diagnosed with "household and/or seasonal allergies" so a clean and dusted house are now very important to me.
The Duke came home late Saturday and together with Drama (and a lot of help from Sunshine) completely ransacked the place.

Some items you will find on the floor in my house:

The Duke's suitcase.....yes...still there from last week
random orange toy sword
three baby gift bags...empty..in 3 different rooms
lone leopard print shoe
Dominos coupons.....mmmmm pizza
stray toddler denim shorts
breast pads (clean) strewn throughout 4 different rooms
Anakin Skywalker action figure
about 5 unused size 1 Huggies
dirty soccer shorts...somehow escaped the laundry brigade this morning
crayons
and the list goes on....

I swear it looks like a flock of seagulls flew in, crapped all over everything and went south for the winter. Can they take the tornadoes with them???

Eat your peas

"Celebrate your accomplishments large and small.

Every day!"

Hmm, let's see. Today I got Drama to school on time and my other two have been fed. That's about all I have accomplished today. Maybe I will get a shower in the next hour or so...

Home...more than where the heart is

One of my mommy friends, Amanda, invited me to join a MOPS group here in town. I had always heard about these groups, but never gave much thought to joining one. Besides, until last August, I have not had a pre-schooler in several years.
The morning was a rough one. I had to drive Drama to school instead of our usual walking routine because the cats and dogs of the world were falling down....on our house. I tried using an umbrella to avoid getting wet, but it was no use. I was drenched from head to toe. My hair started kinking up and frizzing and my glasses had smears across the lenses. My closet seemed to be laughing at me as I looked longingly inside for the perfect outfit. Being as that I was still crampy and the sound of the rain was lulling me back into sleep, I wanted to call A and cancel. I called her and meagerly asked what the dress code was. She said it was casual. A woman had even worn pj bottoms last year. My excuse was gone so I quickly pulled myself together, grabbed Tinkerbell and headed out the door.
I arrived to a nice surprise. The ladies were welcoming and friendly, happy and non-judging. New moms like me had their tiny ones with them and nursed their babies in the room wihtout anyone glaring. I was expecting a sorority and instead I found a bunch of moms (just like me) who dearly love their children, their spouses, and most importantly, God!
We had a nice breakfast and coffee and chatted about our children and other things. Then we watched a video about the theme for this year. The Home Factor. From "cocoon to launch" is a phrase we kept hearing. What I got out of it is that home is where the transformation happens so you can send your children out into the world as butterflies. How do I want my home to function? How can my environment nurture myself and my family as living creatures of God to the glory of his name?
When I think of my home right now I just think of the physical, messy, cluttered building I wake up in and go to sleep every night. But there is so much more to home. Home is where we build the values that make us who we are. Sounds like much more important job to be a "home maker" when you think of it this way instead of someone who sits around watching soaps and doing occasional laundry. Before I had been ashamed to say I am an at-home mom. But now I feel like a huge challenge awaits me with an enormous reward down the road. My children's futures depend on the home environment I provide for them right here....right now. I hope to launch 3 fantastically beautiful butterflies one of these days...when they are ready....whether or not I am.

Lucky me

I get regular email newsletters from Babycenter about the stages my children are in. I get two a week now since the Dramakid has outgrown the center bulletins. Today the newsletter was called "Your 2-month-old: Week 2". Wow, is she really that old? Here is something it said inside:
"If your baby's sleeping through the night (five or six hours at a stretch), you're one of the lucky few. Most 10-week-old babies still wake up in the middle of the night. But even babies who aren't sleeping through the night at this stage should be sleeping and staying awake for longer intervals instead of cycling back and forth so much. Your baby will most likely have two to four long sleep periods and as many as ten hours of awake time in 24 hours."

So, am I considered lucky if TB sleeps for 8 hours, but Sunshine wakes up? They never coordinate these things.

The luck doesn't stop there...
Three people this week have told me I look thinner. One was my aerobics instructor. Yes I have been working out, but I am chalking this up to luck since I have eaten 2 bags of cookies on my own in the last week.

Still more luck...
My Aunt Flo has come to visit for the first time since November of 2005!!! Why me? I am breastfeeding...excusively. This baby likes the boob. She won't take a pacifier and will only take a bottle when she absolutely has to. Sometimes she will just refuse to eat when offered the bottle only. So what gives?
Here is a response on WebMD to a question about nursing in relation to menstuation:

"Though exclusive breastfeeding, where your baby meets all his nutritional and sucking needs at the breast, usually delays the return of your menstrual period and fertility, this is not always the case."

Oh really?????

It continues...

"There are many factors involved in maintaining lactational infertility, such as number of feeds per day, duration of feeds, total time spent breastfeeding each day,longest interval between feeds, etc.

LMAO! Well we've already determined that "lactational infertility" does not affect me...at all.

It is thought that even with unrestricted, round-the-clock nursing some moms are sensitive to slight hormonal shifts, possibly occurring due to increased length of time in between some feeds. This may be enough to allow your menstrual period to return. You might find that if your baby increases his nursing frequency, duration, etc., the time in between your periods may increase, or your baby's sucking may be enough to again suppress ovulation, and the return of your period."

Great. So here I am, crampy and mad at the world because I can't take anything good for periods, like Aleve cause I am nursing thus not even supposed to be menstruating.

Lucky? Maybe not so much!

Assault with a deadly G-string

Well I finally stopped the after baby bleeding fest last week and it opened the door for me to pull out the ole' G-strings again. YAY! I can burn the post-partum grannies in a "return to normal" ritual. Besides, I absolutely hate VPLs.
Today is laundry day at the Dream house so that means piles of laundry everywhere. I was in a rush to get a few things washed before Baroque Ken left for a 3 day trip down South for a concert. (Yes, three nights alone with three kids....I can hear the horror music playing in the background already). Anyway, needless to say, I was distracted in a whirlwind of housework until my beloved Sunshine ran into my room with one of my thongs over her head. I thought...how cute! I turned my head for a second and she was whining. The side part of the G-string(made out of lace) was caught in a snagged fingernail and the rest was down around her neck. She was pulling her hand away which made the part around her neck pretty tight. I freaked out and got her untangled immediately! She had red marks all around her neck but otherwise seemed ok.
How scary is that? She was right in front of me helping me fold my laundry. It could have been disastrous. I guess I need to put my clothes away while she is sleeping from now on and keep laundry piles out of her reach.
Who knew panties could be so dangerous?

Identity crisis

As much as I love pink, it was giving me a headache. Sorry guys.

What the ???

I have been trying to read up on reflux to help my poor little Tinkerbell feel better. Here was the advice for breastfeeding moms:

Avoid Certain Foods and Liquids
More so for older children and babies, there are certain foods that are known to make reflux worse. If you breastfeeding, as mentioned above avoid these foods in your own diet. The complete list, as put forth by PAGER is below:
List Source and Copyright: Pediatric Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Association - PAGERwww.reflux.org

Vegetables (due to high acid or belching)
Broccoli
Green Peppers
Cabbage
Brussel Sprouts
Cauliflower
Tomato
Tomato Juice
Corn
Cucumber
Onions
Garlic
Turnips
Rhubarb
Kale

Fruits (due to high acid or lots of fiber and seeds)
Apple (especially peels)
Bananas (can cause constipation)
Citrus fruits
Figs
Coconut

Beverages
Milk (lactose intolerance can provoke reflux in some people)
Coffee (even decaffeinated)
Tea
Carbonated Beverages
Caffeinated Beverages

Starches
Beans (gas producing)
Oats (rolled oats OK)
Tofu (avoid large quantities)
Barley ( OK if perled barley is cooked 10-15 min)

Miscellaneous
Fatty or Fried Foods (fats take longer to digest)
Meat with connective tissue/gristle (take longer to digest)
Chili Powder
Vinegars
Chocolate
Molasses
Peppermint/Spearmint (Wintergreen is unrelated)
Honey
Caffeine
Foods with "air" such as fluffy baked goods, Meringues.
Swallowing air by sucking on hard candies or drinking from straws
Rye Seeds
Meat Extracts
Black Pepper (White pepper is OK)
Creamy Foods/Gravies (High fat content)
Gooey Pastries (High fat content)
Simple Sugar Foods
Excessive Fiber (increase very gradually as tolerated)
Pectin
High Energy Foods (digest slowly)
MCT Oil (medium chain triglycerides, digest slowly)
Guargum (thickener, digests slowly)

Can somebody just give me a list of what I CAN eat???

The new and improved party!

Ok, so Mrs. Five is not working for me. I love having a family of five....it rocks...for the most part...when I have been sleeping. But Mrs. Five reminds me of "Number 5 is ALIVE" from Short Circuit. So...I began searching last week for a new nickname. I didn't have any nicknames growing up.
It wasn't until I moved to England that a nickname was bestowed upon me. It was awful. The Brits called me Barbie. I was tall, blonde, and tan...something they didn't see too often in the Northern part of England. And...if that wasn't bad enough, the song "Barbie Girl" from Aqua was just getting popular and they frequently dedicated the song to me at clubs around town. Nice hunh? I really hated the name and it's connotations.
But, I really like the background and would love to be skinny again like Barbie...so here it is. Barbie's Dream party. Complete with my very own Ken, 3 kids and a Dream SUV. Now if I could just get some dream sleep.....

Let me eat cake!

This is kind of fun! Anyone who knows me knows that I have a special passion for wedding cake. Well, actually almost any cake.

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?