Friends and mommy time

I called for a much needed, and very timely, Girls night out last week. I called my friend Mrs Swizzle since she said she needed one, but didn't want to plan one. We had another friend join in as well and we were off to BJ's Brewery for some drinks and dessert...or so we thought. Being the women that we are, we didn't take into account that the Cowboys were playing a huge game and people would flock to any restaurant with a tv. The wait for a table was over an hour. We eventually ended up at Macaroni Grill. It was the right call. The place was empty and the Peach Bellini's were fabulous.

After chatting with the girls, it became clear to me that the funky mood I have had is contagious. All three of us have children. All three of us have one child in grade school and a 1 year old at home. The only difference is that I am insane enough to have two in diapers at home.So our dear friend D asked how we have alone time with our hubbies. What? What's that? I'm not sure I understand the question.
You see, with two babies at home (and a big kid too) the Duke and I are always playing what we call "damage control". "Hold her so I can....." and "Ok they are both asleep I am going to run to the store and...", "You put SS to bed and I will nurse TB" "Can you help Drama with his homework while I get the girls ready for bed?". I'm sure you can see the pattern here.

I miss our coffee in the mornings from before we had the babies. I would take D to school, come back, brew a pot of joe an we would sip and chat for about 30 minutes before the Duke went to teach classes. It wasn't much, but it was a special and cherished time of day. Drama went to bed around 8 back then, so we had from 8-10 or 11 to chat at night, cuddle, watch movies...or whatever we wanted. Now we are lucky to get a few minutes alone. Tinkerbel has been pushing her bed time later and later. It doesn't leave much time for anything since I collapse somewhere in the vicinity of 10. We don't feel comfortable hiring a babysitter while TB is in this screaming phase. Couple that with the fact that she won't take a bottle and we are pretty much stuck for now.

I didn't really start this post to complain. Our children have touched our lives in ways I never thought possible. I never wanted children for myself. I wanted a career in the medical or research field (still do!). I knew my brother was sent to Earth to populate it. He was great with children while I have always been mediocre at best. But God sent me three angels and I love them more than they will ever know. They bring me the kind of joy that warms you from the inside and makes your heart feel as if it could burst. He knew what he was doing, and hopefully will keep blessing me with the tools and the grace to raise them the right way.

Where I was going with the post was that it was nice to hear that I'm not the only one feeling a disconnect with my beloved spouse. I had a brainstorm to make time for the Duke a few weeks ago and things were great, but then I got tired again and stopped trying. I have felt so alone in the world of breastmilk stains, spit-up and diapers. But my friends showed me that I am normal. Or at least as normal as I can be...and that it is ok not to be perfect.

I missed most of my MOPS meetings this fall because of no sleep and a few baby colds, but I did make it to a very powerful talk called "the Power of a Positive Friend". Our need for companionship as women is so important for support, validation, trust and comfort. People that are like us that can hold us up and cry with us or for us. We love our men (mine is my best friend) but they can't possibly understand us. I am lucky to have many friends whom I love and cherish. Each of them bring something to my life that is so important to me. Music (friends I sing with), God's love and wisdom (friends from church and other Christian friends), sanity and knowledge (other friends with children), comfort (the friends who have known me the longest and love me despite my many failings)...and there are so many more.

Go ahead and tell your girlfriends today how much they mean to you and how much you love them. You may just make some one's day.