Checking in

Hi friends,

I'm in California for the week. I left Tuesday and won't be back until late Monday night. I took the girls with me too. Crazy hunh? It hasn't been too bad. I have just really come to appreciate baby-proofing.

My dear friend, T, hosted us in Bakersfield. P.s. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH T!!!!!!
I never worried about anything there because she has 2 children of very similar ages and everything that was in reach was ok for them to touch. Everywhere else we have been has been a different story. I am constantly running around pulling things out of Tinkerbel's mouth and pulling Sunshine out of cabinets.

Apparently my stress about my children tearing apart other people's homes has led a family member to call me "High maintenance".

Hmmmm....I don't think I agree with that assessment. I just like things the way they are at home, and I have been a little shaken up at not having luxuries like 2 high chairs, 2 cribs, 2 baby monitors. I don't need much else, but I do need sleep, and a bra for this wedding tomorrow.

HOw in the world and I going to find a strapless in 15 minutes. That's about how long I will have to find one.

Wish me luck!!!!

Good Friday

I have very fond memories of Easter weekend as a child. I went to a private Christian school up through junior high, so we never had classes on Good Friday. Where I grew up it doesn't rain. (OK it does, but not much. 5 inches a year compared with our 32 inches here). But it always seemed to be rainy on Good Friday. It was such a great day. We would stay inside and start cooking and decorating the eggs as a symbol of new life and the Resurrection that would happen in three days.

Well, today is anything but rainy, cloudy, and cold. I feel a little cloudy since I feel terrible, but the sun and sky are as gorgeous as ever. When we woke up this morning I rolled over an poked the Duke saying "This is what the sky should look like on Easter, not rain and clouds"....sigh. The forecast calls for two cold fronts to pass through in the next 48 hours. And as soon as everyone is up and dressed. I am off to look for sweaters and tights to match the girls' outfits.

My thoughts right now are completely about my voice and solo tonight. How will it respond after all the coughing? I was still able to sing yesterday, but have not tried to vocalize yet this morning. I already have a hard time getting through the piece. The words and notes are piercing in a most dreadful way. I have a hard time singing the last line without choking up.

To leave you with a Good Friday thought, I am posting the words to the piece I am singing tonight. May you have a blessed Easter!

The Crucifixion
-Samuel Barber

At the cry of the first bird, they began to crucify Thee. O swan!
Never shall lament cease because of that.
It was like the parting of day from night.
Ah sore was the suffering borne by the body of Mary's Son.
But sorer still to Him was the grief which, for His sake,
came upon His mother.

The way things always seem to be

First of all I would like to apologize to all 2 of my faithful readers. It turns out that the Duke was very sick with pneumonia. So my free time when splat! And I'm still catching up on cleaning and laundry. All this is going on during the midst of Holy Week in our church. We have church everyday from today through Sunday. Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, the Great Easter Vigil on Saturday night and then of course Easter Sunday.

This year I was asked by my choir director to sing a piece called "The Crucifixion" on Good Friday. Usually we don't have a formal choir at that service and I stay home because we are so involved in every other service. But of course I said yes, and have been working on this piece that is completely out of the realm of music I would normally choose to sing. I'm having a difficult time with it. Oh, and did I mention G Friday is tomorrow????

A friend and I had also been talking about singing a duet. There is a great piece I have always loved and wanted to sing. The accompaniment was written for basso continuo (frequently done in the Baroque period). The instruments are not specified and many different options exist. However, if you look at the score the bottom line (for the accompaniment) is just one note, occasionally surrounded by a few numbers. Playing continuo involves interpreting these figures into a whole part. It's all done by improvisation. The only person I know who can read figured bass is my husband. So I asked our director if we could sing the duet on the Saturday before Easter because the Duke will be able to attend church with me that night and play (our church organist does not read figures). Of course, he said yes. Then, he was fishing for something to do during Communion on Easter Sunday. You can see where this is going....yes we are repeating the duet on Sunday.

So this weekend is going to be full and busy. I also have all the Easter stuff that parents normally need to do: get haircuts, buy Easter shoes, and tights, and sweaters?

Which brings me to my point of this post. The last 4 Easters that I can remember (except for when I was pregnant with Sunshine) it has been chilly (or rainy) on Easter Sunday. Girls have been wearing large sweaters and jackets over their pretty dresses. Boys have cords on instead of cute short sets. It's just not right! We live in an area that has the most beautiful Springs! If you look at our forecast for the next 10 days it will be sunny and around 75 everyday...except Easter. High of 50, and rainy.

Why does this keep happening? Easter is supposed to be beautiful and sunny and springy and happy! I know it's just the weather. It does not lessen the miracle of the Resurrection. I would just like it to be sunny and 75 for once. So my girls can wear their dresses and Drama can wear his nice shorts and sandals.

If that weren't bad enough, I am starting to feel like I am getting what the Duke had (my mom has also had it, and Drama, so I guess I'm the lucky next in line). But see....I can't afford to get sick. I have to clean my house, shop for E baskets, find shoes, sing three times in front of a total of possibly 500 people, then pack to go out of town next Tuesday. I can't get sick. But it always seems that I do get sick when I have important things to do. I always seem to get sick when I have to sing. Wat would it sound like if I could actually sing when I am well? Would my voice even work without having to fight over phlegm and a swollen throat?

Why does this always happen? Am I cursed? Is it because I am so busy and stressed that my immune system collapses?

I am taking every homeopathic remedy I know of to gt well faster. But it's not working and my level of stress keeps rising as I worry about my solo tomorrow, Saturday, and the next day.

Just curious???

Who ever made the rule that when the kids get sick, they get to rest? When the dad gets sick he gets to rest? But when the mom gets sick, no one gives a darn???

The Duke has been very sick the last two day with fever and body aches. By George, I think he's got it (the flu that is)! He has been camped out in the recliner or bed since Thursday afternoon. In the mean time I have picked up his slack as well like taking out the trash, cleaning up his dishes, etc. So I do feel sorry that he is so sick, but a part of me is resentful that if I end up with this miserable bug I will still be making lunches, doing laundry, feeding children, and paying bills.

Does that sound normal?

A beautiful Ministry

This past Saturday I was contacted by our church organist via email. The subject of the email was "favor?". I just assumed it was for the Duke, asking him to play organ in her absence or some sort. I opened it and it was addressed to me. Hmmmmmm.....

Church organist's sister's MIL had passed away and the funeral was set for Monday. It turns out that S's MIL (Martha) was also a church organist before she became very ill with kidney disease. Music was at the heart and soul of this family. In fact, the day before, the BIL had asked if church organist could round up a few musicians to do the Brahms "Requiem" at the service. She laughed and asked him if he had about $8K, cause that is what it would take....oh and about 8 months. It takes about a choir of a hundred and a ginormous orchestra!

Since that wasn't an option she offered him a few soloists. One of them was me! I sing at church all the time, mostly in duets, or small chamber groups, but have never done something like this. I was singing at some one's Requiem. People were counting on me to give them beautiful music to grieve, remember, hope and then send their loved one off to the care of God. What a HUGE task. What if I messed up? And they remembered that for ever??? That AWFUL soloist, man she just ruined our mother's Memorial.

So what did I say?
Absolutely. I would be honored. And then I freaked out about it for the next 24 hours.

They asked me to sing "Pie Jesu" from the Faure Requiem. It is a very beautiful piece for soprano. We ran through it once on Sunday, and once again Monday morning and that was the only times I had ever really looked at it. Thank goodness for sight reading!!!! Also, I was getting sick. My throat was so sore I was drinking hot coffee, using throat spray and lozenges the whole time. It felt like razor blades when I sang.

*A side note here....I am blessed with singing in the most acoustically perfect space in Texas for a voice like mine. My church has no carpet, and is all brick. The sound carries well and comes back to you. This space I sang in on Monday was like singing into a pillow. It was hard to make the sound carry.*

The BIL and CO's sister, along with their family, came to meet us before the service. They were very appreciative to me for doing this on such short notice.
The service started and was quite beautiful until the Priest said "The Lord be with you" and like all good Episcopalians we screamed from the choir loft "And also with you". We got a glare from CO's husband, who is also an E. Priest. Duh, they were using Rite I. Who uses that anymore? I guess the correct answer would have been "And with thy spirit". Oh well.

After the extremely short Homily it was my turn. I started singing, but wasn't nervous like I usually am. Something was different. I had read over the English translation of the lyrics during the homily and looked at the picture of her in the bulletin. It was as if I were singing to her some sort of lullaby, like I would sing to my own kids. Everyone else in the church disappeared, and I just looked at her casket and sang her to peace. It was an incredibly moving and spiritual moment.

As I was leaving church choir on Wednesday night, CO handed me an envelope. Inside was a thank you note from the family, and $150. I never really expected to be paid. I had never been paid for singing before. It was only a 3 minute song. That's $50 a minute! I was glad to do it.
I guess now I am technically a semi-professional musician since I was paid. LOL
But what a great feeling, money aside, to be able to give to people in their grief and to Martha in her Heaven! May light perpetual shine upon her.

Here are the translated words of the piece:

Merciful Lord Jesus, grant them rest, rest everlasting.

Disrespect

I heard some horrifying news today. My husband's church, and the cemetery that is part of it was trampled by members of the T. Democratic Party that were caucusing. His church is a landmark in our town, and is over 150 years old. Members of the church, and other locals have generations of their loved ones laid to rest here. It was a beautiful place.

Now, headstones have been broken, graves demolished, monuments and flowers soiled by tire tracks, boards, trees branches and mud.

Who could do this? I realize there wasn't much room to park, and apparently the caucus got out of hand. But there are several streets nearby with ample parking. A huge grass lot to the west of the church is quite large. Why did they park on sacred ground? Is casting your vote worth driving over a freshly dug grave with some one's child in it? Who does these things?

Anyway, this is not a political post. I try to stay our of political wars. I consider myself a moderate, but tend to vote R. I DO vote for who I think is the best candidate with respect to my views regardless of partisan ties. I am pro-life, pro-capital punishment, but also a big proponent for education and support for children who are under insured. I don't know that the Republican party would have been any more respectful. Has this election and the excitement behind it led to just utter disregard? I really hope not.

If I'm going to blow away....

A friend sent me this email today. I have felt a lot like this, and I know some of my blogging friends have too, so I thought I would share....

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in
whom I trust."(Psalm 91:2)

It was a windy day in the Midwest. My children
and I were out on a day of errands. Most of the day had been spent in the
protection of buildings built close together. But, our last stop put us at a
store that was all by itself at the edge of town. As I parked the van, the
wind made it sway slowly from side to side. On the count of three, we put our
heads down and barged into the outdoors. Once outside, my daughter ignored my
outstretched hand and, instead, wrapped both her arms around the top of my
leg. "If I'm going to blow away," she said, shouting above the wind, "I
want to blow away with you!" The wind was more than she could withstand. It
had knocked her down twice that day already. She had resigned herself to the
fact that the wind may, indeed, totally sweep her off her feet at some
point. I hobbled all of us into the store. Once inside, I squatted to her
level. "Did you really think that the wind would blow you away?" I asked as I
tried to untangle her long, blonde hair for the 1,000 time that day. "Yes,
Mommy," she said bluntly. "But if you came with me, I wouldn't care." What
she did not know was that I was feeling as if life was about to blow me away.
The pressures and stresses were like the wind outside – turning what should have
been a sunny, wonderful day into a climate in which I could barely stand. For
months, I had felt like at any minute, I may be knocked down by the sheer force
of it. When she wrapped her arms around me with complete faith in my
ability to get us through the wind, she reminded me that I, too, had someone to
cling to in times like these. Most of all, she reminded me of the child-like
faith with which I can hold on.

Prayer From a Mother's Heart
Dear God, help my child to cling to you in times of joy and in times of trouble
throughout her life.