Rainy days and Mondays....

It's not rainy, but I am unusually grumpy today. I shouldn't be. I had a lovely retreat with wonderful ladies this weekend. Got sleep, ate well, rested, prayed.

So why the grump?

Last week I took the Duke to a fitness evaluation with a new trainer I met. We have not received our final printouts that score our Polar age, but I saw my weight and body fat. I have gained 5 pounds, and my body fat % has gone up. WTH?

I know I have not been able to work out as consistently as before, but I wouldn't consider myself sedentary nor a terrible eater. I was crushed. All the hard work last summer and fall, for this.

In hindsight, seeing as that a friend prayed for me this weekend to keep my temptations for brownies at bay....am I really surprised? NO. Sad, angry, irritated? You bet your Reeses pb cups I am!!!!

He gave me many reasons that my goals are "not being met". My cardio is cycling and I am most likely working too hard thus burning sugar and no fat. That's something you want to hear after 4 months of bi-weekly cycling classes. No wonder my thighs still touch.

An added blubber bonus: Apparently I am lifting weights incorrectly as well. To shock my body and "shred", I need to weight train 3 times per week, never do the same exercise for a given body part, and keep my heart rate in my fat burning zone. Who said women could multi-task?

I think I could do it if I had him as my trainer permanently. I am just so frustrated with the gym right now, I need a good month or two of someone else kicking my butt. But who can afford this luxury on a SAHM's salary? Thus I am pissed off at the world. The Duke even asked what it would take to get me training with him even once or twice/week...when I told him he said there is no way we can do it right now. And to make it worse I had to stand by the mirror in aerobics today watching all the fat blob around. Do you know that I outweigh my spouse by 20 pounds? Isn't that fun? Maybe I can borrow his "fat" pants.

I know some of you who think me "thin" are rolling your eyes right now. I am not saying that I am overweight or disgusting. In fact, I think I can pull off a pair of jeans as good as any 33 y/o mom of three. But think about when you started not being able to fit in your jeans. Or when you work so hard for something, and the opposite happens. Thin is relative. I don't want to look good in clothes, I want to look good naked and I will die trying.

Thank goodness it is Lent, or I would be drowning my pissed-offness in a pound of chocolate right now....