Once upon a tampon

It occurred to me the other day, while I was shopping for my first non-maternity pants in ages, that I don't really remember the non-pregnant me. I can't identify with the pictures I see of a much skinnier, younger, more rested me. And for a good reason!

In the last 3 years I have:

-been pregnant 5 times

-had a tubal, a miscarriage, and a chemical pregnancy

-had 2 full term pregnancies

-had 2 C-sections



In the past 2 years I have:

-been pregnant for 20 months

-had morning sickness for 7 months

-been breastfeeding for 6 months

-been pregnant AND breastfeeding for 2 months

-Never had to buy "female products"

When you are pregnant (and for 6 weeks after baby) you are only allowed to use sanitary napkins. Here is where my story begins.

I hit that magic 6 week mark two weeks ago and was still bleeding. Yuck. I know. Sorry. So, I went to the magic cabinet for a tampon (cause I could start wearing them instead of pads). I couldn't find any. So I looked in my bathroom drawers and other cabinets. None. Finally I started getting desperate and looked through all of my old purses and travel bags. Nothing. Eek! Where in the world did I put those things?

It dawned on me that I was probably out. I hadn't been able to wear them in nearly two years. It took me 1 1/2 weeks to get to the store to buy some. I went to the local Target store and seriously did not remember where the pad and tampon aisle was. (I bought pads in bulk at Costco when E was born and still had a bunch this time around). When I finally found it, I was stumped. What brand did I use? Were they cardboard? Plastic? What absorbency are you supposed to use? They even had new stuff that looked really cool. Have you seen the ones with pearls???? Sweet!

I was on the phone with my SIL and was just laughing so hard because I couldn't remember, or decide, what to buy. People walking by must have thought I was pretty immature to be on the phone in the tampon aisle laughing hysterically. We all know you are supposed to quietly stroll down the aisle, get your gear and get out before someone notices you're there.

The whole experience was the beginning of a new me. A not pregnant me. Someone I still can't identify with, but someday, with time (and a little more sleep) I will learn to like....maybe even love.